One of the hardest moments in life is to see someone you love who is grieving and in pain. As friends and family, we want to help our loved ones through their hard times and we often do not know what to do or say. In my own experience, I have found people want to talk about my loss and support me through it but they do not know what the right thing to do is so they don't say anything. Many felt they didn't want to bring it up out of respect for me and waited until I spoke about the loss. Many are afraid it may upset me to talk about the baby and so don't in order to protect my emotions. I believe these are common occurences in many lives of people who are dealing with the loss of a child. My hope is through the information supplied here that we can help eachother understand how to help one another through loss and what we need from our friends and family during this time of grief.
The following are good reads for those care providers who are looking for help in understanding how to help a friend through grief and loss.
What Can I Say and Do? How to Help Someone Who is Grieving a Loss by Kelly Osmont
The Art of Being a Healing Presence - A Guide for those in Caring Relationships by James Miller and Susan Cutshall
The Power of Presence - Helping People Help People by Doug Manning
I Don't Know How To Help Them by Linda Maurer